Thursday, June 30, 2005

Don't need it anymore

The wonderful thing about going out with a camera trying to capture some nice shots in your spare time is that you feel as if you are haunting, except that you are not hurting any creature on the contrary you are in a state of serenity, looking for beauty everywhere and surprisingly enough it happens that you just find it in strange places or things.

The beautiful things around us that we have used to see after sometime loose their existence in our eyes, we forget about them and we no longer see how beautiful they are, they only come back to life when they are captured accidentally with the cameras.

In an effort trying to find beauty, you will realize that you shouldn't get that far because it's everywhere and we didn't need a camera to be able to see it all we need is just really look and see.


May be…

The other day, I was in the office working on some pending stuff only thinking of how to take Thursday off, tired of work and frustrated because sometimes I feel that people are trying to take advantage of the sense of responsibility that I have and are not aware that the excessive burden given the emotional one arising mostly from their whole day complaints about almost anything while I may experience problems myself sometimes is not bearable.

I called a friend of mine to call off an outing that was supposed to take place that day because of some last minute excuses from another two girls.

And while I was talking on the phone I found a colleague who is working at the same department that I work at asking me about one of the new company's products I said …well I tried it but I didn't like it much, he made a face as if he didn't expect this answer so I said but you may be I am wrong , in an attempt to make what I said sounds ok then he said what about your sister, mother, father,… anybody. Look, I have an intention of giving this to you, I want you to have it …I said thank you, of course I want to try it again. The amazing thing that this gesture made me smile the rest of the day without knowing why, it didn't cost him anything but meant a lot to me.

It's pretty weird that sometimes when you are down and you think that there is no way out someone can change the world around you and transform the frown with his magic stick and make it a big smile.

Just because we see people around us seem to be fine it doesn't mean that they don't need a "Hello" ,or a phone call, or may be something less than that…

We all need a reason to do things, we need an objective or a motive to think or exert an effort but you will find no better reason than to make it for someone.

God created us and created other people that we are living with and it's a bless, no one can live alone, we do need people so we have to appreciate the gift and show it…

Just be sure there is someone out there waiting for you to help … so try to be there.


Saturday, June 25, 2005

"I believe only what I can't see"...By Gustave Moreau

Dear ...

I have been thinking about a quote that says:

"I don't see things, I see through things"… by Edvard Munch

I don't know what did he mean and what were those things? I have always been seeing things differently and I have always been mystified by their impact on me and have never been able to figure out why, may be that's an answer…Seeing through things.

Everyone loves the greenery and trees but what do you really see when you deeply look at those trees… I see only one thing "longing", what are they missing I don't know I really feel them or is it just a reflection of some deepest thoughts and feelings that I am not even aware of…may be.

If so how can you explain to me why do the physical appearance and features of the people that we know become different after knowing them, I don't think that I still see any of the people that I used to know the way I did when I first met them.

I guess it makes a big difference to see a person with the eyes than to see with the heart, and even bigger difference to see what's inside his heart.

People are too busy and occupied with many things that they are not able to see through and feel their surroundings but if they do they will find answers to all the questions that they were asking themselves.

I can recall a lot of situations where I acted in a way that is completely the opposite of what I was feeling at that moment in order to veil my insecurities and anxieties or even my fears and weakness that I seemed very strong and confident in an attempt to defend the weak part that is hidden inside.. I believe I am not the only one.

Munch was an artist and he led a difficult life, I am not sure if that was the reason for him to "see through things" but what I am sure of that the eyes can never see as much as the heart can do.

See you,

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Never Said It...

Dear ...

Why didn't we even say goodbye? most of the people don't like goodbyes but , as long as we are meant to be apart the least that can be done is to say it...
I have missed a lot of goodbyes not because I don't like them but because I was in denial...
They say " change is the only constant thing is life" , change to me is very threatening and scary it took away some of my friends, beloved ones and some of the small things that I have always loved and appreciated.
I know I have to adapt myself to the new givings and look at the bright side that this changes also brings as much as it takes and believe that nothing will remain the same as long as we shall live.
Now may be it's a second chance for me to say "goodbye" to all that I have missed.
and if you ever get the chance to say it, say it right then may be this powerful word can change things for you ...forever.


Black & White

Dear …

I don’t know why I have a problem viewing black and white pictures whether photographic or painted ones and despite the fact that I love using black and white while painting, still it makes me feel a bit sad.
Black and white pictures to me are very truthful, it’s an attempt from the artist to reveal what the colors can conceal, it is used to express very deep feelings that can not wear any cosmetics.
It also eliminates some elements and factors as time , it makes you create your own atmosphere and just dip what you have perceived in , so that everybody has his own picture.
Black and white pieces are so basic and so honest but hard for those who can not accept the bare truth.


Wednesday, June 22, 2005

A book on the table…

Dear …

It’s lying here on a table, seems it’s an old book I can tell from the fading color of the cover I think the original color was green it’s now grayish olive it’s a bit covered with dust . there are finger prints on it as if someone was trying to wipe off the dust using his own hand. The yellowish pages of the book also indicate that it has been there for a long long time. So what brought it here after all those years? I have never seen it before ..
The room is dark however there is a beam of light coming from the door and it’s reflected on the book… alright stop imagining and visualizing things all what I have been explaining is only in my head.
Wanna know the true story? here you go …
The book to me is something or someone that is always there for whomever is looking for , for those who are willing to reach out and grab it , who really needs it.
The book offers anything that it has and puts itself under your full control and in return it just asks and hopes not to be ever alone…


Sunday, June 19, 2005


Dear …

Stuck at work, can’t believe a person like me doesn’t have a window (a person who loves nature), surrounded by concrete and longing to see a piece of the sky.
I don’t think it’s coincidence that the majority of the universe is covered with water, more than 70% (Blue), or that the fact that whenever we look at the sky we see the blue color varying from dark to light reflecting all the colors and beams of light …
It’s a gift and a bless that god has created, that we can all have the rich as well as the poor even though sometimes we know that there can be much cleaner countries or more beautiful places, we all have the same sky , stars.
And that everyday comes as the sun rises and it will always rise as long as we are living and it’s all in god’s hands ,it’s a precious gift that we should appreciate .
I love the blue it’s peaceful, beautiful and very deep. I love it when I see the sky or the sea or any blue spot .. in a two dimension world (not real world) shapes sometimes can be viewed as containers of colors and there are the colors that matter ,shapes are much more complicated and they only exist in the real world but colors are simple, you can see them, feel them and appreciate them without even notice or voluntarily try to .
Bottom line Blue is my favorite color..


Words unsaid

Dear …

Here is a question.. where do the unsaid words go? And what is the reason behind having them captured and never let them go? Does that happen for a reason, meaning that it would affect us negatively in case they have been said or they could have generated problems …may be.
Let’s look closer, what would have happened if the taxi driver who was about to hit my car do if I yelled and blew out some steam ? what was going to happen when my neighbor told me that I shouldn’t park my car in the spot that I have used to park my car in and I didn’t push back or even defended myself and I spent an hour later trying to figure out what should I have said in this case.
Anyways that support the idea that it was for my best interest, but what about the bunch of thank you that have never been said, what about the greetings that have been avoided fearing that the recipient wouldn’t notice or too busy to answer back.
So I believe that I have reached a conclusion that only the good world should be said and never locked up and the bad one should be killed…mmm not very convincing.
I can claim that there have been some thoughtful words that have been said to the wrong or inconsiderate persons.
But to tell you the truth it’s better anyway to set those unsaid words free than to suffocate them and keep thinking what would have happened if they won’t have been said it’s worth trying everything that happen no matter bad or good turn out to be an experience just a little bit later and by the time become a lesson or may be a funny story that you would like to use in a chat …
You know what…talk the time you will take and the effort you will out in thinking and searching for the unsaid words can be used in sorting out the problem that may arise if the “said” words were irrelevant so you are not loosing.
Keep your mouth open so that it’ s not talking it can be perceived as a smile.