Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Success Stories

Seems we Egyptians do lack the know how of making a difference but we are pioneers in complaining.

The dark picture needs to be lightened with some success stories I know they exist, but for some weird reasons are kept unleashed.
We need encouragement, I love my country and the people of my country, just want to show the positivity hidden and boost it.

Here is my tag if anyone is interested, please publish your own experience in conducting or participating in a project here in Egypt or outside it to make us believe that things can get better and prove that the individual efforts can make a difference and become a campaign.

Note: no heroic stories are required, even paying a visit to an orphanage helps.
Need some insights.

Here in Arabic شوية إيجابية

Sunday, January 28, 2007

I can't hear me

Silence seems to be a luxury that I can’t afford to have even some of.
I need ear plugs, I have a lot to say but the voices are so loud. Even the ones who care for me don't want to leave me alone just for an hour or two. I need some space.
I normally am a good listener but as long as no one bothers to listen, give me a chance to listen to myself.
I can't count the times that I heard the question "Are you OK" "What is wrong with you" followed by my answer "I am fine" and then get that look as if I am hidding something, well I am not, or may be I am... how can I tell.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Tag: Five things you don't know about me:

Thanks dear Blue for the Tag, it was real fun thinking about it :)

Here we go:

1- I am a day dreamer and imaginative, I used to tell my mom bed time stories when I was young.
2- I wash my hands really a lot.
3- I like cooking and like to sing in the kitchen.
4- In important events or occasions, I am always late, never have enough time to prepare myself as I want and often forget important things.
5- I never stroll down the beach bare feet like what all people do, I wear sneakers to make sure my feet are protected.

That's what I have never mentioned, the silly stuff I hide :D

I am tagging my sister Nerro and friends in my side bar if they would like to.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Inner Talks/ babble

I am not in a good mood these days and my head is stuffed with so many thoughts most of them are actually nonsense…

I thought of writing them to clear my head and my heart in order to get rid of that negativity, I am not even sure if I will publish that babble or just keep it as a draft.
How do I start? ,,, it doesn’t matter, does it?

I blame myself for all the things that I couldn’t be, in my high points I feel it’s not my fault and convert them into a push and a challenge, but at my weak moments … I just wonder and wish… wish I was braver, smarter, prettier, had a better job and position, doing more for my family, more active, less shy, less sensitive, less proud, more sociable, more powerful to make a difference, …

Sometimes I feel sad for all the things that I thought I could be when I was young and I couldn’t, feel disappointed.
Of course I do thank god for the life I am living and for all his blesses. And I know it sounds a very egoistic but deep inside I feel distinguishes and special, but when I think about it…no what makes me any of that.

I am also have this intensity in everything I do, may be that’s the problem?
I am average everything, not super in any but when I do anything I seek its perfection, when I love, when I work, when I even go shopping… so I go to extremes and it seems weird and understandable.

Talking about weakness makes me more emotional but relieving.
I need to cry, not because there is something wrong, but I know it will take that burden off me, and will make me feel so much better… but I can’t.
Even crying is too much for me to do.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Veiled = Rejected !

The post has been moved to "Serious Thoughts" .

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

So today in the morning I started with Hechkok's post that he had originally written not typed , then few minutes ago found Engy's post about hand writing and psychoanalyst.
I myself prefer writing than typing (wrote about it before here).
So here is my handwriting, it's not good now, used to be better years ago.

Hey friends why don't we consider it a tag and pass it on to each other?

Monday, January 08, 2007

2007 Insignificant thoughts

  • “Don’t Worry”, you can’t …?
    At least don’t pile things up and worry about them, deal with your worries…just one at a time, defer them a little bit …some of them will dissolve without you noticing.
  • A gift is what you give (full stop).
    It’s not what you give to get another thing in return.
  • Here is a little game …
    She : “You will be missed” (she used the passive voice to avoid saying “I”)
    He : “Will miss you too” (He didn’t say it either, how clever).
  • I want to be loved by ALL the people.
    So what have I done to deserve this love…. a question that has got to be raised.
  • Have been asked before how come you wear red a lot, your car is red… what is it with you and the red color.
    Well, about the car it’s a total coincidence, it’s my third car and it’s red as well.
    About me wearing red.. there is an old Egyptian say that “if you want to laugh at a dark complexioned person, let him/her wear red”. So I was trying to avoid it, till one day I decided to revolt against the say and surprise … surprise, it suits me and looks good on me. Moral of the story: don’t always listen and avoid…. TRY!.
  • Some words were never actually said because there is no one to be told about.
  • What do I hate the most ?
    People wearing masks, I have this curse that from the first minute I see these masks and be forced to remain silent while seeing people falling for it.

Sunday, January 07, 2007


There are key milestones in everyone's life, … specific incidents, events, accidents and sometimes miracles.
But haven't you ever stopped and wondered about their perfection, that set of well designed steps occurring one after the other in a particular timing and order with people selectively involved or may be not, things that wouldn't normally happen and would never happen again …all are leading to just one thing.

It is god's plan that no one can interfere in, allow or prevent any of it … and yet the choices are always available and so are directions.
The directions are the boundaries that we are living within, … the boundaries that get broader and wider as we get older, see more, read more, with experience, education, …

And there are also SIGNS, that aren't tangible, very relative and controversial too.
To be frank, I think there are signs.
Explaining them using logic … if you agree with me that certain incidents do occur based on a series of actions or steps. Then seeing one of them and anticipating the another would get you close. It's again subject to one's experience may be or forecasting.

Within the spiritual range there comes intuition; having a bad feeling about something or someone and without even figuring out why and then you discover you were right.
Another aspect, seeing things in one's dreams before they actually happen. (called in Islam Ro2ya "vision")

However, getting drifted after the signs may sometimes create illusions, just like thirst can make you go after a mirage, the anxiety and the need to find a direction creates fake signs.
The worst part is when they are used as excuses, "I can't go to work, I have that strange feeling …. " signs and fate do work in parallel, so there are nothing to run away from.

Signs are signs, you are going fishing, you prepare yourself, go have a look at the weather's forecast and sea condition (these are the two indicators "signs"), if they are okay, go ahead… it's not a guarantee that things will go well but you are jeopardizing your safety ignoring them.

Friday, January 05, 2007


"One kind word can warm three winter months" A Japanese proverb.

I usually feel warm whenever my family or friends are around. A kind of warmth that makes me feel secure and satisfied.

Insensitivity hurts, cold looks or responses can freeze the world around you.
Leaving you trembling and shaking, looking for somewhere to hide and feel safe again.

Loneliness also makes you feel cold; even in mid July, even with people all around you.

There is no such thing as to care about some people and ignore the other. A caring tender heart can't be choosy, it's filled with warmth and feelings and it doesn't release them upon a request, it just radiates them wherever it goes.

Think about it what we will lose if we let go of the warmth we have inside us.
It's so simple, just be sincere and try to connect with everyone around, feel them, they might be cold as well and a simple word, a gentle look, a pat on the back, or even a smile can turn their winter into a wonderful colorful spring.

Is that so hard? Just think before you talk, do something special for someone without asking if he deserves it or not, listen and remember this world is not just about you, give chances and be forgiving, think of what you need and didn't get and try to make it up by giving someone else what you know he wanted. It's a cure for the soul and a relief for the heart. Be thankful and have faith and ask whoever you trust what do they see and you don't, view things from other angles and put yourself in others' shoes, say sorry, repent, try to be the good you the one you think you no longer are. … I wish I could do that too.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Dancing Queen

"You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourineYou can dance,
you can jive, having the time of your lifeSee that girl, watch that scene, ... "

Deep inside I am just that girl, can't really tell how different am I now than when I was seventeen, it has been eleven years … but I can't feel them.
If age is what you feel, I am definitely not 28 or let me say 29, …

I am not afraid of being old, I do respect and appreciate older or senior people, they are wiser, more mature, more experienced, … years carry with them pearls and jewels and whenever a year passes, it leaves you with one of them till you have a whole tiara like the one that grand parents have.

And it's not only I don't feel my age, I guess don't look my age too. I didn't realize that till I got that new job and during the phase of getting acquainted with my new colleagues.
It didn't bother me a all hearing the same comment that " no way you look younger" till it started to be challenging with superiors, with them explaining and elaborating things for me as if it's my first time to be asked about specific tasks and then their surprise having the tasks done. It's manageable after all, and it doesn’t harm to have a fresh look on one's image every once in a while.

I was never a foolish child; never got myself or anyone into trouble, have been the one who listens and tries to understand since I was young. So may be that's why I don't feel any difference.

Another thing, if you measure something there must be a scale… so assuming that the range is the lifetime and since no one knows at what age will it end … so, you can't say from a scale 1 to 70 or 80 I am middle aged or not because may be I won't reach 70 or even the next day.

I saw a program the other day on TV asking celebrities where would they like to be in 10 years, and the answer that really touches me was "to be alive". Yes we take our lives for granted instead of seeing it as a gift.

My advice is, embrace your lives, appreciate each day, make a difference and always remember it's a journey that will end one day so it's better you leave something of value behind and get reward for it.

I know that wouldn't ryme but I don't care :D

"I am a dancing queen, young and sweet only 28 :)"