Spontaneity, Manners and what they call “Social Grace”

I am a messy, sometimes clumsy person myself. but I always do my best to be no trouble for anyone. So I might drop my silverware in a formal dinner, take time to recognize the fish fork … spill something from my plate on the table cloth or me although I try very hard to place the napkin on my lap so I won’t ruin my outfit. But what I drop always finds a way to land on my skirt or pants. So I do irritate myself not anybody else.
But what surprises me based on previous incidents are :
- When someone approaches so much to talk to me: come on people give me a space. And no it’s not ok if it’s a woman.
- When we are having lunch or dinner with a variety of people and all of a sudden someone begins to smoke without even asking. Usually I don’t continue eating and of course I don’t say the real reason when I am asked, I just say “I’m full”.
- Shared plates (salads, appetizers, etc …), are sometimes disastrous; people pick things from the plate using their hands !. Other cases, they use their own fork, the one they are eating with. Some people do that while they know it’s unacceptable and try to cover it by saying lame statements like “ oh yummy” ! or “ God I love it, can’t wait” or “I just can’t stop eating” .
- When someone try to reach for something and leans over the table as if there is a starvation and it’s the only plate in the whole world, sacrificing people whom he might be leaning on, or his tie that is dipped in someone else’s soup.
- There are another kind who loves you to try the food first and stare at you, trying to comprehend from the facial expressions if the food is tasty or not. And sometimes ask if they can try it from your plate before ordering it !.
- Picky eaters : few of my friends are; they really torture the waiters … asking for the impossible and finally nothing is good enough. Some of them are the “extras freaks” (they like extra everything) or the “without freaks” , I do belong to the “without freaks” kind. except that I forget to tell the waiter, and always become surprised by onions or garlic but because of the hard time I know the waiter had. I decide to just eat. I ear onions and garlic but not in public places, I don’t order plates with strong smells.
- Dinning tables are no place to discuss digestion problems. There is another cozy place that everyone can think ALONE about these problems. And if the problem persists he can go to a doctor.
- Last thing, a quiet peaceful or even silent dinner is so much appreciated. Let’s view it like that: talking is the complete opposite of eating (especially big chunks). So there is always a compromise , or you can always alternate a piece of food … then a sentence. It’s not too hard.

Finally that doesn’t happen a lot by the way, but it always happens when it’s not expected.