Monday, April 17, 2006

Spontaneity, Manners and what they call “Social Grace”

I am a messy, sometimes clumsy person myself. but I always do my best to be no trouble for anyone. So I might drop my silverware in a formal dinner, take time to recognize the fish fork … spill something from my plate on the table cloth or me although I try very hard to place the napkin on my lap so I won’t ruin my outfit. But what I drop always finds a way to land on my skirt or pants. So I do irritate myself not anybody else.
But what surprises me based on previous incidents are :
- When someone approaches so much to talk to me: come on people give me a space. And no it’s not ok if it’s a woman.
- When we are having lunch or dinner with a variety of people and all of a sudden someone begins to smoke without even asking. Usually I don’t continue eating and of course I don’t say the real reason when I am asked, I just say “I’m full”.
- Shared plates (salads, appetizers, etc …), are sometimes disastrous; people pick things from the plate using their hands !. Other cases, they use their own fork, the one they are eating with. Some people do that while they know it’s unacceptable and try to cover it by saying lame statements like “ oh yummy” ! or “ God I love it, can’t wait” or “I just can’t stop eating” .
- When someone try to reach for something and leans over the table as if there is a starvation and it’s the only plate in the whole world, sacrificing people whom he might be leaning on, or his tie that is dipped in someone else’s soup.
- There are another kind who loves you to try the food first and stare at you, trying to comprehend from the facial expressions if the food is tasty or not. And sometimes ask if they can try it from your plate before ordering it !.
- Picky eaters : few of my friends are; they really torture the waiters … asking for the impossible and finally nothing is good enough. Some of them are the “extras freaks” (they like extra everything) or the “without freaks” , I do belong to the “without freaks” kind. except that I forget to tell the waiter, and always become surprised by onions or garlic but because of the hard time I know the waiter had. I decide to just eat. I ear onions and garlic but not in public places, I don’t order plates with strong smells.
- Dinning tables are no place to discuss digestion problems. There is another cozy place that everyone can think ALONE about these problems. And if the problem persists he can go to a doctor.
- Last thing, a quiet peaceful or even silent dinner is so much appreciated. Let’s view it like that: talking is the complete opposite of eating (especially big chunks). So there is always a compromise , or you can always alternate a piece of food … then a sentence. It’s not too hard.

Finally that doesn’t happen a lot by the way, but it always happens when it’s not expected.


  • At 5:33 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    Oh Dear! u seem so fed up and really upset.

    I dunno what to say..these are situations which are hard-to-change , cause u can't control others , it's either u accept it or change it , and i guess u can't change it , so unfortunately u'll have to accept it.

  • At 6:04 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Dear Rain,
    I am not upset, these are collective thoughts of 27 or u can say 28 years.
    And these incidents were really very few, but they happened.
    But I am not that irritated, I was a bit sarcastic I know but I didn’t mean to criticize anyone's behavior. I am a very spontaneous person and I am no into formality and artificial sophistication. I am ok and thanks a million for your concern my friend.
    Please if you are finding it too aggressive, tell me and I will delete it. (need your opinion).

  • At 6:25 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    Mmm...well they sound a little harsh (which is a relative thing) but not aggressive , it's like u said a little sarcastic and criticizing , and apparently u wouldn't sort & count the points u mentioned without being irritated, so u have reasons for it :).

    You're very considerate sensitive person :).

  • At 6:40 AM, Blogger a h m a d said…

    I couldn't stop myself from laughing and smiling reading your post. Your description is amazing and your analysis is witty. Thanks for sharing. :)

  • At 7:51 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Many thanks Ahmad,
    Glad it made you laugh. It's always my pleasure to share my thoughts with friends :)
    That's what I meant a funny may be a sarcastic post.

    I changed the word "aggravates" with "surprises" better sa7 ?
    I wasn't very accurate with the wordings due to the fact that I am up to my ears in work and still wanted to write :)

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Nerro said…

    "Some of them are the “extras freaks” (they like extra everything)"....and what's wrong about that ba2a is good to have extra cheese, sauce, mushrooms, and stuff...if you want...ya3ni what's the point of missing something that would have a nicer taste to z food ya3ni..
    P.S: I glad you mentioned the 28 thingie "lol"

  • At 2:02 AM, Blogger emlino said…

    I laugh so much too with your post. For each your idea I have a different persons and I was visualising them.
    I think anyone could add some of behaviors that turn a common good sense person into the shiest in the world... what about that piece of meet, or that potato that flys plate to plate?... others are near by the irritating behavior... "I want this... no no no this is better... or may be this... what did you wrote?... No that is too hot, bring me this instead... oh but I eat it last week.." and in the end: "I didn't liked the food... we shouldn't came here..." GRRRR...
    Fortunately that it's not very common for me to see that 'pictures';
    I'm not specialized in formal behaviors (I think there is other kind of attitudes much more important to shows respect as listen, speak low,... than that kind of formalities) I don't like being treated in those protocolar gestures too. But this is very different of loosing our manners... Don't worry about that. Once again, try to be yourself. I think that sooner or later they will notice that there is something special in your way of living. :)

  • At 2:20 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    So admit it u r one of the Extra's freaks, there is nothing wrong with that Sweetie :).
    As for the 28 thing, well ... I had noo choice since I know i read the blog :))

    I am so pleased, u laughed at the post.
    your examples are also hilarious, especially the flying food :))
    it's not common for me either to see these incidents but I have to admit that they are funny.
    Thanks soooooo much for your comment.


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