Friday, April 14, 2006

Dilemma

Based on an incident that happened last week too, that made me totally uncomfortable. Here is what I think:
Although I don't like to admit it but I am shy and I am doing my best to hide it especially at work not to be comprehended as lack of communication skills.
But eventually it shows. but in another form… as indifference or as if I don't care ….because of my deadly attempts to conceal it
When I start feeling that people are getting this impression, I tend to offer more attention to make it up and maintain a balance so they begin to feel as if I am treating them in a special way. So what are the choices … the fake balance is impossible.
I don't want to seem weird but the other signals don't stop popping up. The good news is I never behave or say anything inappropriate or irrelevant that may embarrass me but I do something that may be worse… shuuuuuuuuuuuush !, yes that's what I do and yes I know … how rude. The only exception is when criticized … I speak up other than that, nothing.
So when someone does me a real big favor, I say thanks and stuff but I don't say enough. When I should reply to a compliment, I just change the subject. When I am mad at someone … I don't say a word.
I have posted before a post called "words unspoken" and I am still struggling to bring them up to the surface.

9 Comments:

  • At 7:21 AM, Blogger a h m a d said…

    I think this "shyness" problem disappears as you mingle with more people. Eventually you will forget that you ever had this problem. Just be yourself. :)

     
  • At 7:50 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    My world is getting smaller, not the other way round. Imagine the number of friends and school mates when I was young then college baring in mind Egypt's population :), so at work despite the fact of the large number of employees it can't be compared to school and college. and still the problem exist ... !
    I will take your advice and just be myself, thanks u .

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger new kid in the block said…

    I agree with ahmad that shyness can go by time, I didnt speak for the first 20 years of my life I didnt even know the simple words of greetings or for special occasions. but now no one can shut me up even if I wanted too I guess it will take me another 20 years to make up for the unspoken words that means I still have two more years to talk :)))

     
  • At 4:57 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    isA u will be having many many years to talk dear :))
    I am talkative by the way too when I am confortable with the people I am talking to.

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger MoonLightShadow said…

    I'm exactly like you Nesrina.. I consider myself a shy person, and I guess others know that about me as well. You know, I was once once asked in an interview about what is it the bad thing in you that you know you could do smth about it.. after going round and round in circles without saying a direct answer, I told him I'm shy! However they employeed me :D

    I'm doing my best to overcome that problem, however sometimes I feel I can't. It's not me. I'm a silent person by nature, and I'm talkative whenever I have smth to say to the right person. Other than that you can't get me to talk or reply to a compliment, and that puts me in a really bad situation. But, that's me, whether people accept it or not.

     
  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger roora said…

    I second ahmed in that , and dont put it too much in your mind ok? The more you think about the more you will get obssessed of it believe me, ..there is nothing wrong in being shy as long as you can communicate and things coe by practice.
    For ex, in work hey say that soetimes I get ebarassed in certian situatins but that is nit by default that makes me uncapable to work and respond, aybe because of the working environment nature that helped me in this Thanks GOd, but just dont put in your mind and behave normally , and there is nothing worng when you get sometimes shy , except if we are really ... eh :_)))

     
  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Moon,
    So I am not alone :). it's always the hard question to ask especially that you always try to mention a negative aspect about u that will still make them hire u.
    I am talkative but when I don't reply it's even worse ... they don't take it that I am shy. they take it as if I didn't want their complement or opinion...

    Roora,
    I don't think about it much ... I just remembered it as a result of a situation that I found myself in.
    At least being shy doesn't hurt or affect anyone so... I guess it's ok to be a little shy:)

     
  • At 12:08 AM, Blogger PsychicWizdom said…

    I miss reading and commenting on ur posts :)
    This unspoken words issue need a whooooole post, look for it, it might be coming soon on My Psyche.. Yeah, they're really unspoken, so I'm not sure how I'm gonna put them in words anyway! Sometimes people interpret them in their own way, so you'd feel the urge to jump up and say that it isn't the way they thought it might be...
    Well, I'm glad to be on your blog.. will keep up with ur posts, and thank you for your supporting comments.

     
  • At 12:18 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    PW,

    I missed your comments too, and I can't wait to read about your unspoken words. especially this part about how people misinterpret them ....
    I am sooooooo glad you are alright and you are here ...yaaaaaaaaaay :))

     

Post a Comment

<< Home