Friday, September 08, 2006

Kolenya layla

She started to grow up, went to school and a whole new world has opened its arm to show her what's inside. She decided to go and explore, till she found a guard following her wherever she goes, dictating what she can do and what she can't, what she can say and what she can't. Looked at her friends and found other guards just like him standing beside each one of the girls.
But one observation was always there…boys never had guards with them.
She went and asked her parents about the guard, they said he is Mr. Customs and traditions, he is the society's representative, He is there for your own sake and protection. She asked further more and what about all you have taught me…principles, values and religious learning's. They replied: we can't help it; we will be criticized if we fired him. What will people say about us, about you?
She got older, more mature and got accustomed to her life. And somehow saturated with the culture she has brought up in.
Went to a broader world, found different patterns than the ones she used to see; the conservative, guarded girls. The problem is they belonged to the other extreme. She struggled sometime but found a way between this and that, a moderate way, that doesn't differentiate between guys and girls and doesn't take social or economical status into consideration. It just knows what is right and what is wrong.
Continued her journey at work, with great passion and enthusiasm, trying to prove herself and grow. The assumptions at the beginning were that she is not good, or solid enough. That was challenging but she said I will do whatever it takes to prove them wrong.
Started to think of the ones she is willing to share her life with. …where he is and how will she know him. She saw different, not so encouraging types, I must say she wasn't lucky… ranging from the one who is totally irresponsible, to a hesitant, greedy, insensitive, or Mr. I can do better and this type is sadly prevailing.
He thinks since he makes a good living, guys to girls ratio in Egypt is like 1 to 15 (it could be more, don't know the exact ratio, guessing). So he has to be very picky and very selective. And he forgets that girls are human beings and their feelings have to be respected.
He remains thinking and thinking and have this shortlist of girls and starts examining.
Then to continue the bargain, he takes his family and check the bride's house, ask how many TV sets they have and how many AC's and cars they own, stay for hours. (I swear to god it happened), getting into some other financial aspects, causing great discomfort for the girl's parents, and then just leave for good. Why, no one knows.
And then she has to endure the society's intervention in her life and curiosity of why she didn't get married. Why would she marry anyone comes at her door if she doesn't think he is the right person or she doesn't have feelings for him… the society? Again Mr. customs and tradition?
If only they know that she is not after the diamond ring (it's just a rock), or money or the title "Mrs" to please people around her. If only they know she needs care, emotional security and protection. The greatest thing she can offer is love and that's what she only wants in return. Life is all about sharing and she is willing to build with him a life rather than inherit it.
I saw a movie the other day, the main female character wrote a letter and said "I miss my trees", the response of the one who loved her was, he went and took the tree off the ground and planted it where she resides. I know it's fancy stuff.
But that's all what we all want the tree never the rock , appreciation and support at work and a childhood with no guards other than the parental loving teachings.

http://laila-eg.blogspot.com

21 Comments:

  • At 2:57 PM, Blogger BaTaBeeT said…

    laila doesnt have the right to explore
    laila doesnt have the right to go the journey on her own
    laila cant be independent
    what kind of community is that ?!!

    nice post :)

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Sampateek said…

    الي الامام يا ليلي
    بوست رائع
    نعم كلنا ليلي

     
  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger illusionfactory inc. said…

    i have somewhat same kind of views but also on life.probably its more easy for me because i'm a guy...but i've miles to go and loads to face.i dont like to be tamed by rules that sounds weird.i respect myself and i fight for it...surprisingly people call me mad and i feel happy when i hear them say that!....it's really a strange world my friend with weird ideas ,ain't it? i liked ur write up, keep it up.

     
  • At 3:13 PM, Blogger illusionfactory inc. said…

    illusionfactoryinc_archive.html

     
  • At 3:14 PM, Blogger illusionfactory inc. said…

    http://illusionfactoryinc.blogspot.com/

     
  • At 3:26 PM, Blogger Jannah said…

    7abeebty... I feel your pain.
    Wala yhemmek, forget the society, brush them off and fire that dumb guard. you're young, affectionate and akeed kman pretty and you'll marry when you fall in love and not a Mr.Right but a Mr-I-have-a-heart and I-just-want-you , will come inshAllah.

     
  • At 2:13 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Batabeet,
    It's the kind of community that we have faith in and we talk to express that we feel. we are not victims but we want to be understood.

    Kalbooza,
    شكرا على التشجيع ، كلنا ليلى

    Illusion,
    Many thanks, I have no problems with equal and fair rules. but the thing is there are way too many rules :)
    Keep writing too, all the best.

    Jannah,
    Sweetie, there is no pain ... we were trying to raise a flag. to say when the society dectates so and so ... it's not fair or it makes us feel bad.
    Don't worry about me, I will follow my heart and wait for "Mr-I-have-a-heart and I-just-want-you"
    I have no problem with waiting :)

     
  • At 5:59 AM, Blogger LAMIA MAHMOUD said…

    i think mr coustem and tradition is more than old and he should let this llife imediatly

     
  • At 9:43 AM, Blogger Jannah said…

    oh how cute! :) Raise the flag girls and don't you care! hehe

     
  • At 12:02 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Lamia,
    I do agree with you big time, he should rest in peace :)

    Jannah,
    That's the spirit :D

     
  • At 5:02 AM, Blogger The Eyewitness said…

    Say it out loud to your famillies, to your parents, to your friends...

    I really feel very sorry to sufferings the Egyptian girl has to go through in her life starting from childhood till the last breath..

    I hope there is a dawn of change.

     
  • At 11:34 AM, Blogger Jannah said…

    "I really feel very sorry to sufferings the Egyptian girl has to go through in her life starting from childhood till the last breath.."

    excuse me, thanks for your pity but we are not suffering. Unless every family causes this suffering to their own children like every other family in the world, then the rest are fine.
    Plus- suffering is not quite the right word in such a situation.

     
  • At 4:11 PM, Blogger ~Mystery~ said…

    What a great post! I totally relate to it. Wallahi I felt like you were talking about me. Society is so wrongfully demanding depriving women of many things while claiming women now have far more rights than before.

    Wait ya Nesrina. WAllahi I'm not just saying this. I waited and waited for my someone to come. I met the weirdest of men. The most irritating and the most irresponsible. I lost all hope. Then when you least expect love, it comes knocking on your door :)

    Take care. Your post is inspiring. May post something related soon :D

     
  • At 1:19 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Eyewitness
    Thanks for your encouragement, however we are trying to correct some misconceptions but not to the extent that we suffer. your opinion is always welcomed.

    Jannah,
    Thanks dear, but it's good to know how we are seen and correct it if necessary... that's the whole point :)

    Mystery,
    Can't wait to read your post sweetie, and I will wait isA :)

     
  • At 6:43 AM, Blogger emlino said…

    15 to 1??? It's not fair!... What happens to the other 14?...

     
  • At 6:57 AM, Blogger emlino said…

    I think that can be a problem of a wide possible choices too; so it is not given the right value to the girl herself but to all the rest. It's like choosing a diamond or a pearl. The diamond is beautiful but just because of its superficial body, and how its faces are cut out... The pearl, owns his beauty inside... As more perfect it is, more beautiful it likes... even, if throw an outside view it is not so clean, the interior beauty stills there. But guys, and I have to admit it is true, tend to be lightened by the diamond brightness and seek for the brighter one instead of seeking beyond the appearance (and such ratio doesn't help at all).
    As many other things, this behaviour will have to change, may be slower than it should,... it is unavoidable. I hope. :)

     
  • At 1:55 AM, Blogger a h m a d said…

    This post depicts a very sad situation. Unfortunately, any solution to this social problem will take decades to be applied and accepted. Very sad.

     
  • At 1:50 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Emlino and Ahmad,
    Solutions may take time but the good thing is to start first and admit there are misconceptions and then we can try to find a way.

     
  • At 5:28 AM, Anonymous youssef said…

    pretty post ...

    for the same movie u mentioned, my fear is to become another "Morgan" ..
    How someone can know that "she" is not waiting for someone better? :(

    ~youssef~

     
  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Youssef,
    You have to take ur chances, and be sure that things happen for a reason. you have to try if it worked out ok if not may be she is not the right person for you.

     
  • At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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