Saturday, September 02, 2006

I am not perfect… Who asked you to be one?

It's only part of being human to screw up, get confused, rise and fall…
God expected us to do so otherwise the promised forgiveness upon repenting wouldn't have been mentioned.
Each day is a learning experience and one of the learning approaches is "trial and error" method.
Perfectionists (I am confessing I myself am one, but I am really working on it) have this super power of self frustration. They ask themselves for a lot, set high expectations from themselves and in the end nothing they do is ever good enough.
If you want to tease a perfectionist, give him a task and let him compete with another person. I assure you that he will take more time, exert more effort, the result will be fancy but he will get drained. That actually opposes productivity rules.
They miss the fun and enjoyment of doing things occupying their heads with the anticipated result.
Another way of seeking perfection is locking oneself up in a kind of utopia, with a lot of entrance restrictions. Ranging from the fear of an unknown person, assessing him and then give him a pass to enter if nothing goes wrong.
I don't know if it's a fear from disappointment or from that person's flaws. I believe it's disappointment that scares the most.
Seeking a perfect state in even one tiny aspect in life is not also achievable. Example: if I am intolerant to lying… Is it possible that I will know a person who has never lied? Is it possible that I myself have never lied before? Of course not.
Seeking perfection is all about flaws rejection from oneself or others.
It's about perception, understanding that imperfection is natural. It's also very relative… For girls, some of us do conceive men's tears as sign of weakness. For me, it's sensitivity and precious feelings that he trusted you with … after all he is a human being. We have to eliminate the judgmental part and be more mature about it. There is nothing more valuable that you can be granted and awarded with than trust.
It takes a great deal of courage to be out there and don't shy away from our flaws ,faults and feelings .If there is anything that can be enhanced or changed, it would be fine and if not… it's ok.
Our flaws create a neediness state that calls for support, sympathy and compassion from another person and the interrelationship between them creates warmth and love provided the atmosphere and understanding it will grow.

13 Comments:

  • At 11:20 PM, Blogger salateenoo said…

    i think that the greedy instinct in the human nature prevents him to reach the state of perfection ..

     
  • At 1:05 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    Salateeno,

    the greedy instinct in the human nature prevents him to reach the state of perfection

    i'll disagree with u , i think instead of "perfection" it's "satisfaction".

    Neri,
    Well...i have to admit too that i'm a perfectionist...the problem isn't in the annoyance i bring to myself...it extends to those around , i expect the same perfectionism ..but i'm working on it really.

    They miss the fun and enjoyment of doing things

    Unfortunately it's very true :S, everything becomes a task that needs to be finished on time , with the highest quality and the process itself becomes a challenge even for the smallest things.

     
  • At 4:19 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Rain & Salateeno,
    I do agree with Rain it's satisfaction nor Perfection.
    U seemed to be a perfectionist ya Rain :), it can't be concealed.
    Let's work on it and try to give ourselves a break

     
  • At 5:23 AM, Blogger Jannah said…

    I don't know ya gama3a, but argumentative perfectionists really do get on my nerves. why not do things perfectly but calmly. If someone doesn't I take over and do it myself without arguments.

    ""If there is anything that can be enhanced or changed, it would be fine and if not… it's ok.""

    So just let it pass... and the person's feelings is more important than the task itself.
    God Bless you all... and inshAllah you'll succeed in getting over it.

     
  • At 5:28 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Jannah,
    Argumentative perfectionists ...?
    It's not an argumet dear nor is it between perfectionists.
    It's a thought of mine that was heard by dear friends and they shared our thoughts with me in return.that's why it wasn't calmly and it meant a lot to me.
    We are working on our expectations and perfectionism anyways.
    God bless u too.

    Rain,
    You didn't reply ya gameela, when exactly is ur birthday?

     
  • At 6:23 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    Sorry ya Neri , here it's but don't be shocked :P .
    it's 11th of sep.... a disaster i know!

     
  • At 7:07 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Happy Birthday in Advance ya Rain.
    Don't worry I won't tell anyone :D
    It's gonna be a wonderful day and days to come isA.

     
  • At 7:16 AM, Blogger Rain said…

    Thank you SO much ya Neri :)))).

     
  • At 4:07 PM, Blogger Jannah said…

    Nesrina I didn't mean an argument between you girls lol.

    I meant in situations I get in when I work with someone who argues so much and would hurt my feelings just to get the thing done so "perfectly" as they would picture it.

    I tell them my feelings are more important than the task. so I thought I'd share you my experience with an "argumentative perfectionist". that's all.

     
  • At 12:24 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    I understand and I do agree with you Jannah... feelings are way too important than tasks.
    I used to get hurt too when I face such sistuations of striving to be up to someone's expectations...
    Take it easy dear, try to do what I tell myself "it's not personl".
    We have nothing to do to be less sensitive.

     
  • At 2:56 AM, Blogger Jannah said…

    Yes, being less sensitive would save a hell of a lot wasted feelings.

    I'm working on that too lol

     
  • At 8:29 AM, Blogger emlino said…

    I am a perfectionist :) and I assume all the good and the bad that is concerned with that. I see myself as a positive perfectionist, not some kind of maniac... those, usually, are very far away from perfection. Seeking always the perfection is a way to evolutes constantly more and more. Doesn't mean that they doesn't enjoy what he does... he really have to enjoy unless he doesn't give all that he can give to a task. In your comparative test I assured that no matter what were the results, the perfectionist will give much more value to what he have done... and that is very important when something goes really wrong.. there is a sustained memory of previous good experiences.
    Like it is difficult to some people understand this seek for perfection, it is difficult for me understand how can it be possible anyone being satisfacted with himself when things go less than supposed could it been, when we know that could have done better but it is done...so...ok :s. I can't be in peace with myself when things didn't run as I expected or as I know that I were able to do and it is unnecessary to ask me to react on a different way because I don't know. I try hardly not to affect the ones around me with that self frustration... but if I'm bad tempered for some reason with myself, I can't put a smile on my face as nothing haven't happened... I try to be patience. On the other hand, when someone hurts other one’s feelings that is lack of control and may occurred with perfectionists or not... doesn't have nothing to do with that.
    About trusting... I can not agree more with all what you’ve said... I depend all my friendships on trust... and I've already have some head hakes because of that. But it is the most basic value that we should require and preserve.

     
  • At 12:18 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Jannah,
    I am working on it too :)

    Emlino,
    I liked the expression " positive perfectionist".
    Try to be patiant and give yourself a break. sometimes we do things less that what we wanted them to be but we learn from it.

     

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