Take a Bow ...
Dear ...
My impression on people has been always determined by how I feel. My heart was my only guide, and by the time, I used to find out that my opinion (don't want to say judgement) was right. except for few times (when lies are involved, I am not good with lies).
But seems, this is no longer works, I guess I am no longer connected to my innerself that the signals do not mean anything to me, I no longer see clear visions, people are vague, things are blurry, facts are messed up...
I don't know why I am fond of building statues for people without even knowing them well, and when the truth began to be revealed ... the statues start to collapse, and the people lose thier existance, the choices are getting fewer, the path gets narrower.
I am not a perfectionist, but unless things are crystal clear, I don't see them.
How can I trust people, if it is my heart that I can no longer trust.
How can I tell, if what I being told is the truth when I don't know it.
Words have acquired so many meanings than the ones I used to know. so even speaking the same language will never do me any good, still won't be understood.
I have few good friends, I can't have so many , it's a responsibility and requires devotion, time, feelings and attention. what I can offer can not be taken from the great friends that I already have to be distributed among a larger group. Iwon't be the same caring and loving friend to them, I won't be me.
Am I differnent , or .. it's the people. I feel like an alien as if I don't belong.
Or that everyone has a role to play, and he is playing it for his own pleasure... so TAKE A BOW , .... "BRAVO".
Yours,
My impression on people has been always determined by how I feel. My heart was my only guide, and by the time, I used to find out that my opinion (don't want to say judgement) was right. except for few times (when lies are involved, I am not good with lies).
But seems, this is no longer works, I guess I am no longer connected to my innerself that the signals do not mean anything to me, I no longer see clear visions, people are vague, things are blurry, facts are messed up...
I don't know why I am fond of building statues for people without even knowing them well, and when the truth began to be revealed ... the statues start to collapse, and the people lose thier existance, the choices are getting fewer, the path gets narrower.
I am not a perfectionist, but unless things are crystal clear, I don't see them.
How can I trust people, if it is my heart that I can no longer trust.
How can I tell, if what I being told is the truth when I don't know it.
Words have acquired so many meanings than the ones I used to know. so even speaking the same language will never do me any good, still won't be understood.
I have few good friends, I can't have so many , it's a responsibility and requires devotion, time, feelings and attention. what I can offer can not be taken from the great friends that I already have to be distributed among a larger group. Iwon't be the same caring and loving friend to them, I won't be me.
Am I differnent , or .. it's the people. I feel like an alien as if I don't belong.
Or that everyone has a role to play, and he is playing it for his own pleasure... so TAKE A BOW , .... "BRAVO".
Yours,
posted by Nesrina @ 3:29 AM
6 Comments:
At 5:10 AM,
Charisma said…
Nesrin,
it is always a pleasure reading your posts.
Forgive me if i have nothing meaningful to add here, i have the flu and im doing my weekly blog roll, and i just thought ill drop in and say hi :)
At 10:41 AM,
Nesrina said…
Hi Charismatic soul,
The pleasure is mine, thanks for dropping in, your comment made me feel that I am heard, and that is really valuable for me.
Take care of yourself, wishing u a very speedy recovery :)
Nesreen
At 12:29 PM,
Nightlegend said…
You are not different Nesrina ,you just doing the right things ,you are doing what all humans should do,longing for perfection in every thing ,in all the aspects of our lives weshould seek perfection ,and it's rare now to find someone who can't take the shadowy picture of everything ,someone who always trying to do the things right ,trying to absorb life's essences as it should be not as other people wanting him/her to.
But I have a question for oyu regarding the(judgement) part ,why do you think you have a connection problem with your innerself nowadays? ,is there anything happening right now which we can know about? ,you know sometimes somethings in our lives would affect our vision to the world either in a positive or negative way ,maybe you can identify this(thing) or this(factor).
At 2:00 AM,
Nesrina said…
Nightlegend,
The connection problem that I am experiencing right now is happening for a reason that I don't really now, may be I am not focused, don't have enough time for myself, as I am always thinking about work and the weekend is just not enough. I can barely do the "must do stuff" and anything else is deffered.
Thanks Nightlegend,appreciate your opinion and comment,hope things are better now at your work.
Best of luck,
Nesreen
At 2:12 PM,
Rain said…
Dear Neri,
The lyrics of the song "Take a bow " are very painful :(
I think u see the picutre blurry cause it's not as pure as u are , and whenever you don't have a clear vision be sure that what u see isn't real.. and be cautious...cause always always pure things are very clear .
I agree with the part u said about friendship , it's a responsibility , and a very great meaning in life , most precious as well... I consider it a very high level of connection between 2 persons , cause they choose each other , u choose someone to be ur sister/brother without any blood relation and with ur own freewill.
At 11:45 PM,
Nesrina said…
Thanks Rain,
I have been responsible for this blurry vision, because there has been things that didn’t seem too good right from the start and I was in denial so I am the one to be blamed…I guess.
As for the friendship, apparently not everyone see the responsibility that he has to undertake.
And an important factor is to CHOOSE each other, and agree on the same meaning of friendship.
Nesreen
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