Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Rage

Dear …

Since it’s the end of the year, and end of fiscal year too… people in our department as well as the Finance dept. are getting crazy, including myself.
So it’s not a very good week at work, hope 2006 will be better.

Yesterday, I was counting the minutes, hoping that day ends … as if it’s a nightmare.
I finally went home, ate with my mother then my dad came we sat and laughed, it was a peaceful and pleasant time and then he went back to work and I decided to check my emails.

Suddenly the one who guards our cars at night just came and delivered the news…
The neighbor’s driver while he was trying to park hit my car!
I went to check what happened and I found the guard and the driver standing beside it, making an indifference face…

I yelled at them like I have never done at anyone before, to the extent that I didn’t believe it’s me who is doing that, the guard tried to explain what happened , I didn’t listen, I was still yelling, saying over and over again “ this is carelessness, you have no respect or appreciation for people’s properties…” things like that.

I got into my car, the guard again asked where I am taking it, told him …” you are no longer responsible for this car, don’t ask me about it”

I had no idea where I am going, but I felt better that the hit didn’t affect the motion or performance, it just looks bad, I also realized that I forgot to take any money with me to park in a garage. So I went as far as I could from home , found an empty spot, looked safe to me, so I left it, telling myself “it can’t get any worst”.

I walked all the way to my home, thinking of how furious I was and was that rage already inside me and the accident triggered it or what was wrong with me…

I guess, I was stressed out or may be just unhappy but denying, in order to be the cheerful person that I like to be. but I am tired of playing this role, yes I am not happy, I have problems and I can’t talk to anybody for the time being , thank god… the weekend is approaching, I have some shopping to do, have to attend a wedding on Friday (I don’t want to, but I have to…) that will be more than enough, will turn my mobile off.
Don’t want to sound gloomy, besides this bad mood is contagious, I won’t do that to the people I care for.



  • At 4:08 AM, Blogger Nerro said…

    Ma3lesh ya poose...cheer-up shwaya...ba3den think is Roora's katb ketab...ya3ni de7k lelsob7...can't even try to think how she is gonna surprise us 7atta f her wedding...she might get bored fel nos...w temshi...come on :) this should be fun.

    btw, ur comment to nightlegend in the previous post was tooooo long...da comment mesh post ya kooka!!!

  • At 4:17 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Ya Noory,
    I will be fine isA, and I know it's Yara's wedding and that's the only reason I am going.

    As for my comments, in my defense... I am a talkative person and I am not talking to any one since I am in a bad mood so for sure my comments must be long.

  • At 4:54 AM, Blogger Nerro said…

    :)) I was just pulling your nose ya noony...w ba3den ma tetkalemi ma3aya ya3ni...

  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    I know u r trying to cheer me up , Thanks sweetie, I will be ok, u know me:)

  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger PsychicWizdom said…

    Who's paying for the damage?

  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger shortcut said…

    afther bad times we taste the good times sorry u r in stress & u r luckey u yelled to some one
    dont worry every stress or probleme ll end there nothing ll stay forever
    sorry if i cant say any solution to ur probleme which no one know it
    but i fell the same before & it pass
    that why i like to share it with u

  • At 11:40 PM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Good Question Pyschicwizdom :)
    I will... they came next day and offered to fix it but I refused.

    Let me tell you something, I used to think that the ones who yell and shout and express their anger feel better after it, and I have never been able to do that, but now after I did, I felt guilty and that made things even worse for me.

    Bottom line : sometimes we have to accept that something bad is going to happen but as long as my family and my friends and myself are fine... nothing really matters.

    "Qadar Allah wa ma shaa' fa3al, wa Al hamd Lelllah 3ala kol 7al".

    Thanks Psychicwizom and shortcut for your concern.


  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger PsychicWizdom said…

    You shouldn't have... You're not asking for anything else more than fixing the damage they caused. But you understand the situation better than I do, so do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

  • At 7:37 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…


    I can't let them pay for the damage, it wasn't the neighbour's fault it was his driver's. so it's not fair to let him pay and at the same time his drive can not afford to pay and if he could, that might affect his family or whomever he is supporting... and again it's not thier fault.
    That's how I thought about it.


  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger Me said…

    "I guess, I was stressed out or may be just unhappy but denying, in order to be the cheerful person that I like to be. but I am tired of playing this role,"

    It's natural to go through this from time to time Nesreen ... but try not to let it get hold of you ...cheer up ... there's this doaa I always say when I feel I'm getting angry...

    "Allahoma eghfer lee thanbi, wa ath-heb ghaitha qalbi, wa ajerni min al shaitan"

  • At 2:20 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Hey Me,

    Yes it's natural, I was surprised from my reaction, but I am very fine... things like that happen a lot :)
    Thanks for the Do3aa.


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