The Rage

Dear …

Since it’s the end of the year, and end of fiscal year too… people in our department as well as the Finance dept. are getting crazy, including myself.
So it’s not a very good week at work, hope 2006 will be better.

Yesterday, I was counting the minutes, hoping that day ends … as if it’s a nightmare.
I finally went home, ate with my mother then my dad came we sat and laughed, it was a peaceful and pleasant time and then he went back to work and I decided to check my emails.

Suddenly the one who guards our cars at night just came and delivered the news…
The neighbor’s driver while he was trying to park hit my car!
I went to check what happened and I found the guard and the driver standing beside it, making an indifference face…

I yelled at them like I have never done at anyone before, to the extent that I didn’t believe it’s me who is doing that, the guard tried to explain what happened , I didn’t listen, I was still yelling, saying over and over again “ this is carelessness, you have no respect or appreciation for people’s properties…” things like that.

I got into my car, the guard again asked where I am taking it, told him …” you are no longer responsible for this car, don’t ask me about it”

I had no idea where I am going, but I felt better that the hit didn’t affect the motion or performance, it just looks bad, I also realized that I forgot to take any money with me to park in a garage. So I went as far as I could from home , found an empty spot, looked safe to me, so I left it, telling myself “it can’t get any worst”.

I walked all the way to my home, thinking of how furious I was and was that rage already inside me and the accident triggered it or what was wrong with me…

I guess, I was stressed out or may be just unhappy but denying, in order to be the cheerful person that I like to be. but I am tired of playing this role, yes I am not happy, I have problems and I can’t talk to anybody for the time being , thank god… the weekend is approaching, I have some shopping to do, have to attend a wedding on Friday (I don’t want to, but I have to…) that will be more than enough, will turn my mobile off.
Don’t want to sound gloomy, besides this bad mood is contagious, I won’t do that to the people I care for.

Yours,