I want to know
Just thought because I wake up every day, open the window, see the light and enjoy the morning breeze … everything will be ok.
Every day is a new beginning. but yesterday can never be forgotten. I regretted what I haven't said, what I wanted to say and didn't till it was too late. But I am regretting more what I haven't heard; I just wish I knew …
Now I am left with so many questions, will I ever know the answers ? … or again it's too late.
Didn't I want to know back then, was I afraid? …. May be. I didn't want to show how I so wanted to know just in case the answer won't be a favorable one.
It really doesn't matter if it's good or bad, still it's better to be known ; if it was a good thing and I didn't know it: I missed the feeling of hapiness and if it was a bad thing, I have missed the lesson.
I had this feeling of being around people that they all know something and I don't, I could feel them say … can't you see, yes I can't see and I don't know. Why don't they just tell me. is the truth that bad?, or they think I understand but I am trying to conceal it?
I want to know all the answers without even asking. May be I now have the courage to listen, but still haven't got the enough strength to ask.
Every day is a new beginning. but yesterday can never be forgotten. I regretted what I haven't said, what I wanted to say and didn't till it was too late. But I am regretting more what I haven't heard; I just wish I knew …
Now I am left with so many questions, will I ever know the answers ? … or again it's too late.
Didn't I want to know back then, was I afraid? …. May be. I didn't want to show how I so wanted to know just in case the answer won't be a favorable one.
It really doesn't matter if it's good or bad, still it's better to be known ; if it was a good thing and I didn't know it: I missed the feeling of hapiness and if it was a bad thing, I have missed the lesson.
I had this feeling of being around people that they all know something and I don't, I could feel them say … can't you see, yes I can't see and I don't know. Why don't they just tell me. is the truth that bad?, or they think I understand but I am trying to conceal it?
I want to know all the answers without even asking. May be I now have the courage to listen, but still haven't got the enough strength to ask.
posted by Nesrina @ 2:48 AM
4 Comments:
At 3:31 PM,
Norm Shaw said…
What you describe is a fear that all people share...
I'll never forget one of the marketing people that I worked with being so intimidated by some of the engineers. After some time, he got up the courage to ask them to define one of the Acronyms that they kept using (none of them could). He said that it was a great lesson for him to realize that everyone else didn't have some great knowledge that he lacked. He was never again afraid to show his ignorance by asking people what they meant.
I have always felt that we all go through life with a certain relationship to "The Emporer's New Clothes"...there are many people out there afraid of being caught, but you are definitely not one of them.
You should never be afraid of your questions, but be careful of exposing others as naked (it might be awkward for you and them).
Best! Norm.
At 3:14 AM,
Nesrina said…
Norm,
Your story reminded me of myself, I work at the Marketing dept. and there are a lot of things that I taught myself to avoid asking as I was upset they didn't explain things to me and left me in the middle of nowhere. things went fine after that but to be honest there is a specific abbreviation that I don't know what it stands for and I use it just like they do but in fact I don't know what it is.
At 3:09 AM,
Unknown said…
This morning description it's not a ticket to a happy day... but it helps a lot :)
Sometimes we just are out of tune of the world around us and many things escape from our senses to be captured. When we think that we loose an opportunity, in fact, we didn't loose... we learn (I'm preparing a post about learning; then you can see) with that... may be we didn't afford as we could. The experience tell me that God gives us the right compensation for that losses... may be they were not any loss... were that kind of "coincidents" (which I call "little truly miracles") from which we are so many times distracted and guides us to other goals.
Believe that the answers to your questions will arrive sooner or later. I'm sure that there is many moments when you know something and the others around you are still miles away back to see the answers that you found.
At 7:31 AM,
Nesrina said…
Very true Emlino,
God compensates us for everything we lose. we only have to wait and have faith.
looking forward to reading your post about learning.
you know what I believe that I will be answered too :))
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