Saturday, January 07, 2006

Why … because we are free to choose.

Dear ...

If you know me in person, I mean really know me. you would have known that I am a different person here … when I am writing. To elaborate on "different"… I write about the things that I can't say to the people I know, express how I feel, it just gives me more freedom. Writing liberates me.

I received a comment before about my blog from someone I know telling me I am sheltered and living in a shell. And I still think about what he said… and here is the answer although I don't think he is going to read it.

The shell I am living in has been my choice, meaning … I went to school and college , wasn't a nerd or a geek , knew a lot of people with different backgrounds and cultures, saw the good and the bad. And I chose to be friends with the good.

After I graduated I began to work, things seemed different for me but I knew I had to adapt and learned the rules to survive in the new environment without having to change who I am.

I am working in the marketing department of one of the well known multinational companies and I am doing fine, I deal with Egyptians, foreigners, artists and football players who promote for our brands and I am doing a good job.

What I want to say is… as long as there is an area in my life that I have to accept it and learn to deal with it efficiently to make a living, learn or whatever the reason is.
The other area (personal) has to be of my choice.

I don't choose my manager, my peers, the people I deal with while shopping, the people in the street who deliberately give me a hard time in traffic, the relatives that never ask and don't stop blaming whenever there is a chance while they don't really care and eventually I am the one who asks about them, also the things beyond my control as love, illness, aging, death, wars,… the list is very long.

So actually I have chosen to make a shell that I go to when I am in need to find a comfort zone with the ones that I was very selective while choosing them to share with me this special place. And that doesn't make me in denial of the bad things happening around me.

There are two kinds of people, the first one walks into a room and notices a vase of flowers and approach to smell them and the other kind sees that there is a very tiny stain on the table cloth that has to be removed.

So I guess it's ok to have this place that I can charge myself, get the support I need, think and analyze as long as that will make me the person that I am. I couldn't have been this strong, stubborn, patient and a believer without it. So I am not imprisoned I CHOSE to have it. It's all about your choice, don't be judgmental and learn to see the hidden reasons.



  • At 9:47 PM, Blogger PsychicWizdom said…

    Nesreen, you just expressed what I wanted to blog about, but have saved it as a draft cause I lost track of what I wanted to say :)

    I definitely agree that it's your, and only your choice... Not just one part of your life, but all of it. Even when you do something because you think you "have" to anyway, it's still your choice. Anyhow, do you think everybody has a "secret identity"?

  • At 4:37 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Very tough question, but yes every one has a secret identity and sometimes identities that he can or can't be aware of. But the majority denies there can be such a thing. because they think it's a negative thing. It's not that having different identities makes you a hypocrite. It's about how to adapt to certain circumstances. It's very natural… I have always been inspired by studying or let's say observing the physical tangible things to understand the spiritual, intangibles. So as our bodies for instance react and change according to different environments or climates. We should be changing accordingly to different situations and environments from the inside.
    Tell me what you think?

  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    One more thing that I forgot to highlight... the change that we can experience has a certain range that varies from one person to another. Meaning that no matter how I can be different trying to adapt or because I was under certain pressure or stress. I will still be ME.
    All of us discovered at a certain point of time that he/she could do something or has something that wasn't that obvious or was hidden and that means it has always been there but hasn't been needed. So if I have different identities, they will all be mine not someone else's. and that's how rich our personalities are.

  • At 4:08 AM, Blogger Nightlegend said…

    I totally disagree with your friend's email and his opinion ,every one approaches life in different way than the others ,you choose how you want to deal with your life in anyway you like ,ofcourse there will always be an influence from every thing around us ,people ,places and many other factors. whatever other people's opinions about our lives doesn't change this fact ,and in the general this is an important aspect of the life's experience itself which is choosing your own path in life.

    Apart of this subject I think I owe you a deep apology ,it's about the pic you were putting in one of your posts ,I haven't visited your blog for several days and only today was browsing through it I found that you have removed the pic ,I don't know if my comment was the reason for that or not but if this is the case then I am really sorry ,Ididn't mean to annoy you or make you feel embrassed in anyway ,hope that you can accept my apology.

    Kol sana wenty tayeba

  • At 11:39 AM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Hi Nightlegend,
    What are you apologizing for?
    I have removed it for another reason. I always welcome the friendly comments. don't worry if I had a problem I would have told you :)
    Kol Sana wenta tayeb, Happy eid!

  • At 8:38 PM, Blogger PsychicWizdom said…

    Hey Nesreen.. Eid mubarak.

    I guess you're right, a major part of us is actually "nurtured", we develop defensive 'shells' (if you wanna call it so) according to what we've experienced in life. And that doesn't have to be in a negative way at all, but sometimes it's a way of surviving.

  • At 1:40 PM, Blogger Me said…

    "don't be judgmental and learn to see the hidden reasons."

    I love this part ...

    Keep going ya Nesreen :)

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Nesrina said…

    Thanks Me, Eid Mubarak to you, nightlegend and Psychicwizdom.


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