Admit it…
Dear …
I have always been pretending that people’s opinion is something that I do consider without really be obsessed with and even more sometimes I say I don’t care.
But that is not true I guess…, I do care a lot about how people see, my image is so important and to be more precise, there are certain aspects that I am very keen to keep a positive image of and other aspects that are beyond my control I leave them to people’s judgment (how I look, my overall style, sense of humor,… I don’t exert an effort as I don’t want to be someone else and some flows are acceptable since e are not meant to be perfect)
Sometimes I do things specially and deliberately to please or satisfy others, of course I don’t do that to any one only the ones that I care about like family and friends but still and the big is they are human beings they can’t be always satisfied and they don’t always perceive things correctly, even myself I am very moody and the things that can make me happy one time can change significantly depending on the situation, timing ,…
So it really hearts to find that the image that you have always been trying to support and the person you were trying to be is misunderstood and judged accordingly.
For instance, during the school and college phase I used to dress in a casual yet conservative way, used to have a lot of friends and hang out in large groups without giving any one a special attention, used also to attend some lectures and skip other not to look like a nerd and at the same time, study so hard because I didn’t want to look in front of my parents as irresponsible.
Afterwards I started working… and up till now I am very eager to minimize my mistakes and put much effort in what I am doing, and what I am presenting hoping to see a certain look at my boss’s face and receive a positive feedback from the management.
It also happens with my friends .. the process of getting someone a present is very exhausting for me and the question of “what if she/he doesn’t like it …” always haunts me.
I know I have a problem, but I have been in denial but I think it’s about time that I admit as a first step that there is a problem then may be I can work it out.
Yours,
I have always been pretending that people’s opinion is something that I do consider without really be obsessed with and even more sometimes I say I don’t care.
But that is not true I guess…, I do care a lot about how people see, my image is so important and to be more precise, there are certain aspects that I am very keen to keep a positive image of and other aspects that are beyond my control I leave them to people’s judgment (how I look, my overall style, sense of humor,… I don’t exert an effort as I don’t want to be someone else and some flows are acceptable since e are not meant to be perfect)
Sometimes I do things specially and deliberately to please or satisfy others, of course I don’t do that to any one only the ones that I care about like family and friends but still and the big is they are human beings they can’t be always satisfied and they don’t always perceive things correctly, even myself I am very moody and the things that can make me happy one time can change significantly depending on the situation, timing ,…
So it really hearts to find that the image that you have always been trying to support and the person you were trying to be is misunderstood and judged accordingly.
For instance, during the school and college phase I used to dress in a casual yet conservative way, used to have a lot of friends and hang out in large groups without giving any one a special attention, used also to attend some lectures and skip other not to look like a nerd and at the same time, study so hard because I didn’t want to look in front of my parents as irresponsible.
Afterwards I started working… and up till now I am very eager to minimize my mistakes and put much effort in what I am doing, and what I am presenting hoping to see a certain look at my boss’s face and receive a positive feedback from the management.
It also happens with my friends .. the process of getting someone a present is very exhausting for me and the question of “what if she/he doesn’t like it …” always haunts me.
I know I have a problem, but I have been in denial but I think it’s about time that I admit as a first step that there is a problem then may be I can work it out.
Yours,
posted by Nesrina @ 6:07 AM
2 Comments:
At 1:39 AM,
Nightlegend said…
I once read a book called(The Disease to Please),this book were talking about people who find their ultimate happiness and relief in satisfying others around them ,ofcourse your case is not that severe and even someone like myself has the same problem but on lesser degree.
As you said that confessing the existence of the problem is the first step in dealing with it ,the problem here is how to the balance bewteen not caring that much about your image on people's minds(especially people whom you have temporary or weak relationships with) and not being ignornat or aggressive in any sort of the way ,just try to make some balance ,alot of times we find that our desire to satisy others will consume alot of our needed time or mental capacity that could have been invested more wisely ,just don't worry about it ,and as I said you can make the first step by trying to make the (temporary) people less satisfied ,please also remember that other people opinion about you is not always correct all the time and is affected by many factors that every one of them needs separate discussion ,and please let me know what you think.
At 9:36 AM,
Nesrina said…
Hi Nightlegend,
Thanks for your comment,concerning what I think...
I do agree with you and that's what I am trying to do, I have begun and made the first step then I know I will have to make myself confortable with the fact that people can't always be satisfied and don't take it personal.
I guess that's what you meant and that's the right thing from my point of view too.
All the best,
Nesreen
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